entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
