If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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