If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
