i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
