the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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