Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
