i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
