You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
