I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
