apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
