you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
