just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
