theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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