he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
