you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
