All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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