In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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