So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
