Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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