He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
