just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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