Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize