Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
