i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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