Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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