Define "chronic" masturbator.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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