i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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