Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You smell like a Billy Joel song
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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