i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
