I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
