if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
