Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
you never un-have a 4some
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My life is pants optional.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
