It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
