I got chris browned last night
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
