Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
