garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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