The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you told grandpa to call you daddy
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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