I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
