i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
