Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize