I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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