Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
