Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My life is pants optional.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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