Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
