I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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