What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
