11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
