the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
