i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
apparently the secret to your success is patron
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize