just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
