A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize