I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
foreskin is a definite game changer
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
