Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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