You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
