I wish I could teleport
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
