sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
