My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
