Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
