hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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