You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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