would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
