There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
